Inane things

Hej ho!

It has been a while since my last post - things have been very busy here with work and music and a bit of a social life. Some pics of past events should come soon. But in the meantime I thought I would fill up this post with some observations of some of the more inane and stupid things I've seen and wondered about while here. Nothing deep or insightful, but who decides how many rings are in a binder?

1) End of the month Paaaaartaaaaay!

We start at last Friday and fears we would be struggling to get a table for "after work", (=happy hour + food). The reason: it was the first friday after the 25th of the month, the day salaries are deposited. The following weekend is usually a big one as people finally feel rich enough to splash out some cash and hit the pubs and clubs. So yes, the attendance at these places tends to decrease from week to week, spiking at the end of the month. There is a classic song by Magnus Uggla, King for a Day where he sings about how fortune changes from eating 2-minute noodles on the 24th to being to King of the Bar on the 25th. (http://www.lyricscrawler.com/song/47087.html).

2) Marschall candles

For marshalling party guests to the right spot: usually a couple of large long burning candles are placed in the snow outside the entrance in an adult, flammable version of balloons tied to the mailbox. It works a treat in the darkness.

3) The total and absolute reliance on divider sticks at the checkout.

The most common experiment I perform up here is to stand in the checkout queue, put down my groceries on the belt, and not put down a divider after me. Then wait to see how the Swede reacts. Do they stand there fuming, arms full of groceries (90% of time), or do they put their stuff on the belt first so they can reach over to grab a divider thereby risking the goods going down to the cashier before they are ready with no way of knowing that it is a new person's stuff..?

In Aus, it was always kinda optional - useful, but not necessary, as a large gap in goods will normally prompt the cashier to ask "are these yours?". Not so up here. Without a divider, there is the risk that a mixup will occur and embarrasing human interaction will be required. When there is a shortage of dividers, ie when several people with few items have used them all, they will wait and hold their goods until a divider becomes available. Or they wait until I am finished because I havent put one down, and they cant get one from the rack because their hands are full. I can say that I have never, ever, had someone say "excuse me, could you please reach that divider for me". That would be too much of an imposition.In fact I don't even know what the swedish word for one of those dividers is.

Of course, because everyone religiously follows this system, the cashiers robotically continue scanning regardless of what happens, gap or no gap, until they reach a divider. So problems will definitely occur when you try dont follow the system.

4) Toilet door "occupied" indicators

Here, white means free, and red is occupied. The indicators are also two little, ~6x6mm square patches only, never words on a curve. Why so small? Why white? Why no words? Who made these decisions?

4) Another bathroom item, and a good one: the use of mixmasters everywhere. I have never seen a 2 tap system, where you have to spend ages adjusting the flows to get the temperature right - if there are two knobs one sets the temperature, and one the pressure Why isn't this standard everywhere back home? Why are mixmasters an costly extra?

5) Binders: here binders have 4 rings - 2 sets of 2 rings spaced apart similarly to an Aus 2-ring biner, with about 1cm between each of the 2 rings. Again, how did this happen?

6) Muesli. For lunch. For grown men. At work.

7) And finally, the ultimate Swedish compliment is: det var inte illa ("that wasn't bad"). Rather than being a qualified statement of praise, usually with negative overtones, up here this the best you get. It would be unseemly to be too enthusiastic, after all...

A marshall